Intrinsic Turmoils
by Uriko-Nya-Nya
Summary: Confrontations in Asgard between brothers after the events on Midgard Avengers


A short confrontation between Thor and Loki after the events of the Avenger's film, seen from Loki's and Thor's own point of view.

* * *

(Loki)

As I sat behind cold prison walls in the dungeon of Asgard's castle, I could not help but think and allow my mind to wonder. There were so many thoughts racing through I could barely outline a clear idea of what these feelings were. The only clear thought that continued to recoil into my very core was how I blindly discarded all I ever had, all I believed to be true and was once dear to me. I allowed myself to be consumed by my hate and anger, while madness drove me to do things no sensible man would ever dare contemplate… and yet, in return for what? To prove my so called 'father' I was capable of bearing the title of king of Asgard? No, my crimes would never come off as the decorum of a wise king; Odin would be nothing more than humiliated to admit I was his son by my actions alone. Was it perhaps to prove I was better than Thor? Ha! That question is but a jest to me; of course I was better than Thor. I was adept in things more important than just strength… Yet, why did I do it? The further I pondered my actions, the more confusing my thoughts became.

Could this possibly be guilt eating at my very soul? Of course not, a fleeting thought, but a deliberation nonetheless, come to mind as I recall these past events I concocted. I did it for revenge…the resentment I felt for being lied to about my very heritage! For always being a shadow to that boor named Thor, who never as much deserved the throne for his rash and violent nature. Was I not far more cunning and sharper than him? Was I not loyal to Odin's every word, even when I was second placed before Thor? Were these not indeed the characteristics of a worthy king? Loyalty, intelligence, nobility, strength… I had them all.

Yet it seemed the superior concern was not my traits or abilities, it was the very blood that ran through my accursed veins. I was the son of a monster! Was that not what I was taught! Frost giants, the monster giants from Jötunheim, whose threats to bring eternal night to Asgard were the tales I grew up with. The same tales that as a child I feared at night, as father narrated them at the edge of my bed along side of my brother Thor. How could I not be irritated at the thought that I was that monster I was indoctrinated to fear, that Thor was the superior god blessed with virtues unreachable to me, that I was destined to be the lesser of any other Asgardian.

More questions began to surface, but just as my mind began to race with these thoughts I heard a noise outside my door, and just like that my mind came to a halt. I knew the person beyond my prison could not read my mind and it was more than unlikely it was visit for me. But I was curious to know who was outside, because whoever it may be, was clearly not trying to be subtle about it.

* * *

(Thor)

I approached the iron door as quietly as I could, I did not want to alert my brother of my presence. The royal guards that stood patrol on the outer hall to Loki's cell allowed me to pass; they knew I meant no harm. I only wished to see how he was, what was he doing in his cellar all alone, if he was hungry or thirsty, or anything at all. Little did it matter the reasons for my visit, I simply missed him and wanted to see him.

Of course, visitation to Loki's cell was prohibited by father to everyone including me. Although, ever since my own punishment I have obeyed every command from my father, I felt this was one order I ought to break. Finally reaching his door, I came to a stop and just stood there unable to think what I would do next. It had only been 5 days since Loki returned to Asgard, and my father has since not come to a verdict for his crimes.

Was father really taking his time to decide on Loki's punishment or was he so ashamed and angry at Loki, he'd rather forget him in the dungeons for the time being? Certainly, time was of no concern for us gods; we lived an eternity and days were nothing to fret over about for things like this. Yet this meant to me 5 days of silence, isolation and negligence towards my brother Loki and I sure as Hel knew deserved better, he was still prince of Asgard and was in need of a proper trial if anything.

He may have been a murdered and he may have broken more than a handful of godly and mortal laws, but he was my brother! My thoughts brought now ever more questions. What could be passing through his mind at a time like this? My heart raced at the thought of seeing his face, and the fact my mind could not fathom what he might say scared me. So I took a deep breath and waited… I simply stood before the door and closed my eyes.

* * *

(Loki)

My curiosity soon died out, I knew all too well who stood behind that door and I didn't want to see his face, hear his voice or even feel his presence before me. I was unable to speak due to the muzzle-like contraption that was bound to my mouth; it was there due to fear I would talk my way out of prison. I doubt these guards were capable of simply ignoring me; the thought of walking out of here by simply a flick of the tongue amused me. Of course Odin knew better, I was a master sorcerer and a simple incantation would allow me to blast these doors down and head for sweet freedom.

"Brother…" I heard Thor say from behind the door. I could not visualize him, but I could effortlessly imagine his expression and posture. Most likely he wore his usual warring armor and perhaps held his trusty Mjölnir at hand. His voice sounded slightly tired and tense, I would assume he was worried or perhaps even scared.

"Brother, I have been away from Asgard, aiding the other realms. I wanted to see you, as soon as I arrived but it seems I took longer than expected." He spoke out and the room was flooded with silence once more. It was just like Thor to always be running off into dangerous expeditions, fighting creatures that threaten the balance of the realms, so this came as no surprise to me.

If I had been able to speak I would have obviously told him to go away, but unable too, I simply closed my eyes and pretended he wasn't there. My blood boiled at the thought of him standing out there, trying to talk to me like what happened between us in Midgard was just a little juvenile incident like our younger days… Our younger days back when we used to go out in great adventures together, get in trouble and somehow find ways to solve them before father found out, mostly me doing all the solving of course.

I cursed myself silently; once again I was referring to them as I would to family. Odin was not my father, just like Thor was not my brother… Suddenly, Frigga came to mind now; she was so gentle, gentle and so trusting. Did she not hand over the thrown to me when Odin was in his Odin-sleep and Thor banished? But like the others, she knew who I was, and she did nothing to tell me. She allowed me to live a lie, and now I had to live with the consequences, no one else but me.

"Loki, I wish to speak with you. Will you allow me to?" Thor broke the silence and without another word the door swung open and light consumed the darkness that surrounded me.

* * *

(Thor)

I was done talking behind the door; I felt I was ready to face him. It was dark in his room, the light that did enter through the small windows, which were no more than small rectangular holes filled with metal bars just inches below the ceiling, was barely enough to see anything. It was to be expected, this was a dungeon after all, he was lucky to even have a cushioned bed, instead of the usual hay covered in old cloth over a wooden frame bed.

"Loki…" His name escaped my mouth once I saw the miserable state he was in. He no longer wore his elegant black leather coat and armor; just a simple black laces shirt and trousers. He was still covered in the bruises The Hulk had left him and his mouth covered with a muzzle. He seemed weak and perhaps even scrawnier than his usually self. For the brief moments our eyes met, I could see he suffered tiredness and sleeplessness. He avoided any further eye contact and refused to lift his head. He sat quietly on his bed; head lowered slightly looking aside away from me, hands and feet shackled with chains made of the same mystical metal that was used to forge Mjölnir. If I could describe the scene before me, I would say it was solely pitiful. Just how low had Loki fallen?

"Loki, I know not why you did this. If I said I understood your motives I would be lying, for I cannot begin to comprehend you yourself. Why Loki?" I paused and approached him ever so slowly.

"What has been done to you that you find the need to cause so much destruction and chaos? You say I have wronged you, but whatever it is I did could not have been equivalent to the attack on Midgard! I still love you, brother. There might still be time to fix this!" I allowed my emotions to drown every single word I said them. As I spoke I felt my chest burn with so many sentiments, I plainly could not explain what I was exactly feeling. I stopped talking, his indifference to my words made me annoyed but concern was foremost.

"Loki, the least you could do is look at me while I speak! This is not a trivial manner that I will ignore." I almost yelled at him.

I wanted to hear what he wanted to say so I gripped his chin and removed that silly muzzle from his mouth. He stiffen at my touch and his eyes darted towards me, he was clearly taken aback by my actions. Loki finally stared back to me, but I could see a mixture of both confusion and fear… and perhaps my biggest fear, I saw hatred in his eyes.

* * *

(Loki)

Just as I was getting sick of this twaddle Thor insisted on bringing upon me, out of nowhere his hand came over my chin and pulled me ever so violently towards him. I was certain he was going to strike me with his fist by this point. I saw his other hand rise against me, but he instead grabbed the muzzle from behind my head and loosened it. My mouth was finally free now; free for the first time in an uncertain amount of days. Gods had no need to eat every day, but it became a discomfort to not have food after so many days, and as punishment I wasn't allowed food or water until the day before my trial, whenever that was...

His hand was still gripping my chin; I shuddered in a breath and for some reason could not take my sight off of him. I could sense many raw emotions emitting from his eyes, but I could tell he was mostly concerned. 'Concern?' Ha, why would he feel concern, it was most likely pity what he felt for me. His so called brother, Loki the frost giant, rejected even by his own race; a runt left to die by his own father, what could be more pitiful than this.

I regained my senses and decided that if he wanted me to speak, then I shall speak, but not what he wants to hear. No, not what he hopes to hear from me. There will be no apologies; no idiotic sentiments will spill from my lips. I, the god of Lies, will put lies aside and be honest with this oaf and by doing so make him regret ever coming to see me.

* * *

(Thor)

His head shook and I removed my hand from his face. His surprised expression quickly turned into a frown and petulance was clear in his eyes.

"Odin sent you to spy on me? Or did you feel the need to ridicule me once more? I really have lost the count of how many times you've accomplished that!" Loki's words left a bitter taste; I furrowed my brow and slightly sulked. His sudden grin must have been proof that this was what he wanted, but I wasn't going to allow it.

"Loki, enough with these foolish games, I want forthright answers! Father did what he thought to be wisest at the moment, mother has always loved you as her own and I… I have always cared for you! I have never felt anything different towards you other than love, respect and friendship! Were we not raised together? Did we not go in great journeys into the other realms and fought next to another? When you caused mischief and got in trouble, did I not stand by your side? Loki, we-." I was saying when he cut me off.

"Enough Thor, I don't want to hear these petty stories. I don't want to be bored to death about things we did as CHILDREN!" he snapped back at me.

"Listen brother, do you really not care about our past? Our very history? " I said in a soother tone, my voice starting to betray me.

He stared at the floor for some times before he callously said, "No… the past is insignificant and of unimportance to me, nothing more than an assortment of lies which my very life was built upon. Now let me be! Leave before father… your father, finds out of this little stopover."

As I stood there staring at my brother, I could feel my eyes begin to dampen. "As you wish… But remember this brother, hope is still not lost. Father, mother and I wish for you to get well and walk the path you once did. Leave this foolishness behind you, Loki. It destroys me to see you do this to yourself." Without another word swiftly I turned around and moved towards the door, that's when he spoke once more…

* * *

(Loki)

"Then, I look forward to 'destroying' you further, dear brother..." I told my foolish 'brother' as he walked away. I quickly came to regret saying this, because it caused him to turn around and smash me against the wall. He gripped the muzzle that rested upon the bed and strapped it back on with his free hand. He looked me straight in the eyes, his bright blue eyes now filled with anger and clouded by tears.

"You do no one any greater harm than yourself, brother…" and with these words he swung me over to the bed, tramped toward the exit and slammed the door on his way out. "Guards, thank you for allowing me to see him." I heard Thor say as he left the dungeons.

I collected myself on this old, repulsive bed and closed my eyes. Tears began to form behind my closed eyelids, and I allowed them to stream down my checks. Memories of my youth flashed through my mind and Thor's voice now echoed in my mind. Why did I do this? To confirm a point to my 'father'? To prove I was better than Thor? No, it was for revenge… it was to claim what was rightfully mine; it was to rule over Asgard; it was to destroy Odin. But why, why, why do I still care for Thor… NO! I don't, I hate him, I detest him, and he took everything away from me from the very start. Asgard was going to feel my wrath! Odin will fall and Thor will come to know true power…

* * *

The guards outside heard a muffled sound coming from Loki's cell and as their duty to not only protect Asgard from Loki but also Loki from himself, they went to investigate. One guard opened the small metal slit on the door to view inside, they could see Loki lied on the bed either laughing or crying, they really couldn't tell it apart.

One guard was about to speak out to him when the other raised his hand and closed the slider.

In a very low voice he said, "Let him be, it's best not to disturb someone as disturbed as he is." As disrespectful as it sounded, the other guard silently agreed and returned to his post. The other soon followed and both guards pretended they heard nothing until no more sounds escaped the cell and Loki either fell asleep or allowed his mind to wonder once more. Either way, Loki was a prisoner of his own mind, destined to create and be ruled by his own chaos.

* * *

~End~

Hope you've enjoyed this short fic, it has been over 4 years since I last wrote stories, so feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank You!


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